The Uchiha Girl
by RedLotusNin
Summary: Turns out Sasuke does have a long lost sister. But when Sakura and Naruto go to visit her, she doesn’t exactly seem to be what they expected. [MarySue Parody, sort of]


Summary: Turns out Sasuke does have a long lost sister. But when Sakura and Naruto go to visit her, she doesn't exactly seem to be what they expected.

Disclaimer: NARUTO belongs to Kishimoto.

Before you flame me, I want you to do it after reading my story. I think in the end you'll be quite satisfied instead of angry.

Spoilers for those of you who would rather watch fillers then read the manga.

_The Uchiha Girl_

"…So as it turns out, Sasuke _does _have a surviving relative. He actually has a long lost sister," said Sakura. She was explaining the events that had occurred when she was with Tsunade looking through records to Naruto. She explained how they had found a record that had connections with Uchiha Sasuke, and came across his sister's. Sakura smiled brightly, her sea green eyes beaming. "You know what this means, Naruto? It means there's still hope for the Uchiha clan! Better hope, that is! I mean, do you know what this can—Naruto? Naruto, are you listening to me?"

"Huh? What?" Naruto said. He shook his head to shake thoughts out of his mind. "Sorry, it's just that I got this strange case of déjà vu when you said Sasuke had a long lost sister. It was as if I had heard it a million times…"

"Stop fooling around, Naruto! This is serious business here!" said Sakura, pushing him lightly, enough to make him step backwards but not enough to make him lose his balance. "Tsunade sent us to explain everything to her. Now come on!"

Sakura grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him.

(_- - -_)

"Now, play it cool," Sakura said. "The news might be a bit of a shock to her."

"Are you sure we're in the right place?" Naruto asked, looking around. He was expecting a big mansion, with servants and maids and maybe even jugglers. And bowls upon shining bowls of ramen. On golden platters! But this…

"I know, I have to say I'm a bit skeptical too," Sakura admitted.

All they saw was a big farm and a rinky-dink house that was made out of wood. Probably rotted wood. With termites. Lots and lots of termites…

Sakura reached out and knocked the door…

…And it fell down.

Naruto and Sakura's eyes widened slightly, as dust clouds crept up from under the door. The two looked at each other fretfully.

"Hello?" Sakura called, as she and Naruto stepped over the door carefully and into the house—if you could call it a house, that is.

Naruto looked around, staring at the grey rotten wood planks for walls, with rusted and crooked nails sticking out. He turned around swiftly and jumped when he came face to face with a spider web, including the creator of the web which was currently chomping on its victim; an innocent fly.

"Ew," muttered Naruto. He shivered.

Sakura tried avoiding the dust and cobwebs as she searched the room. The floorboards creaked under her boots.

Then all of a sudden, her foot broke through the floor, and her foot was stuck underneath.

"Ack!" she exclaimed.

"Sakura!" Naruto ran over to help. He started panicking once he approached her. "Uh—uh, what should I do?"

"Help me out, duh!" Sakura snapped.

"Should I pull your foot out?" Naruto asked. He grabbed her leg, stupidly.

Sakura's face flushed.

"YOU PERVERT!"

You had to give Sakura her props, for being able to punch Naruto to the other side of the room even with her foot stuck under the floorboards.

Dust flew into the air as he landed on his back. He frantically got back up, wiping off dust—and any other sort of thing—off of him. Naruto pointed at her, his face looking annoyed and angry.

"Hey! I'm just trying to help you out!"

Sakura gave him the evil glare of doom she gave him when he said it was a lot easier to be a girl… when she was going through _that time of month_…

Naruto shuddered.

"Okay, okay… what do you want me to do then?" he asked. "Can't you just pull your foot out?"

"Yeah, and if that doesn't work why don't I just amputate it!" Sakura snapped with obvious sarcasm. Naruto blinked several times.

"Why would you want to cut off your foot?" Naruto asked, proving once again he is blind to the obvious.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to get splinters on my feet, Naruto!" she snapped.

"But you're wearing boots…" Naruto said.

"THEY'RE OPEN AT THE HEEL AND TOES!" she shouted.

"I know! I'll rasengan it!" Naruto declared. Sakura's eyes bulged.

"COULD YOU GET ANY MORE OBLIVIOUS?" she shrieked.

"Yeah, you're not doing anything to this house," said a voice. Sakura and Naruto turned their attention to the door.

There they saw a girl just a smidge younger then they were. She had long, shiny black locks when beads and jewels cascading down across them, framing a clean face with porcelain skin. She had tiny, fragile hands with shiny fingernails and… Oh wait, scratch all that out. Her shiny hair was really just covered in shiny dust. Her face wasn't clean and porcelain, more like tanned and burned, with splotches of dirt all over. Her hands _were_ tiny, but they were rugged, dirt covered and her nails were chipped.

And as for those beads and jewels, they were actually beetles…

…Well, they HOPED they were beetles.

She waltzed over with grace—and by grace I mean stalked and stomped with a slumped back and shoulders—and reached down and grabbed part of the broken floorboard.

"Are you sure you should rip that out?" Sakura said nervously.

"Of course!" the girl snarled. "How else are we going to freaking get your foot out?"

With some struggle, the floorboard was pulled back far enough for Sakura to step out. Unfortunately, the board broke so the girl couldn't place it back. She huffed.

"Thank you," said Sakura politely and gratefully.

"No need to thank me. What else could I do, leave you in there? Please, you'd just become a nuisance," the girl muttered bitterly. Sakura's muscles twitched but she managed to restrain from punching the girl.

The girl stood up straight and tried to wipe the dust off her knees, but only failed and made it worse. She sneezed when the dust came up.

"Now what do you want? Why are you here? And who the hell are you?" she hissed.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto exclaimed with a toothy grin.

"And I'm Haruno Sakura," said Sakura with a smile so sweet she'd make Hinata look like a gangsta…

…Though that would be pretty cool.

"And you are…?" Naruto said.

"Kagami. But does that really matter?" she said bluntly.

"Are you the only girl here or…?" Sakura said slowly.

"Yes. I am."

"We have important news!" Naruto exclaimed.

"O…Kay…" Kagami said slowly.

"Now, this could be a bit of a shock," said Sakura seriously. "So we'll try to break it down easily—"

"YOU'RE AN UCHIHA!" Naruto shouted.

It was quiet for a moment.

"Huh?" said Kagami, as Sakura walked over to Naruto just so she could slap him for being stupid.

"Although he could've said it better, he's right. You're an Uchiha," said Sakura as she turned away from Naruto to face Kagami.

"…Okay," she said. "Is that it?"

"…Uh, yeah," said Naruto.

"Then leave," said Kagami.

"_Leave?_ We can't _leave_!" exclaimed Sakura. "You're an Uchiha! One of the last ones! You actually know who your family is! You're the key to the restoration of the Uchiha clan! Why aren't happy?"

"Happy?" said Kagami bluntly. "How am I supposed to be happy? I know my true family, and they're all dead."

"They're not all dead. Sasuke and Itachi are still alive," Naruto pointed out. "And you just so happen to be their long lost sister."

"How convenient," Kagami said bluntly. She sighed. "Look, how am I supposed to be happy? I have two real surviving family members… one is a psychopathic killer and the other is a traitor. And my parents put me into the orphanage when I was a baby." She rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah. I feel right at home. I have such a loving family…"

"But aren't you going to avenge the Uchiha clan?" Sakura asked, looking lost.

"Why? I'm no ninja," said Kagami.

"You're not?" said Naruto.

"Of course not!" Kagami and Sakura snapped at him in unison.

"How stupid are you?" Kagami added.

"More then you know," Sakura muttered.

Naruto looked clueless. (As usual)

"Anyways, it doesn't matter," said Sakura. "Konoha produces only the best shinobi. You'll have the help of legends to train you how to become a great shinobi. So what do you say?"

"Well, my day couldn't get any worse," said Kagami with a shrug.

"Alright! Let's go! But first…" Naruto went over, grabbed Sakura's wrist and dragged her out of the house.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked.

"I just got this bad feeling," said Naruto. "This girl… she was Itachi's sister. You don't think she'll hurt anybody, right?"

"Naruto, that's ridiculous," said Sakura. "What Itachi did was his decision. It wasn't a genetic disease that made him psycho. It was his own mind, his own actions. I don't like this girl so far, either, but come on… just because Itachi's her brother doesn't mean we shouldn't give her a chance."

"Yeah, you got a point," said Naruto, standing up straight. He called into the house, "Alright then, let's go!"

Kagami stepped out of the house and the group headed towards Konoha.

"You're going to like Konoha!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Whatever."

"And becoming a kunoichi will be a new journey," said Sakura.

"Whatever."

_Well, she's a bit unfriendly, but she can't be anything terrible, _thought Sakura.

_She's a total bitch, but at least she's not like Itachi, _thought Naruto.

_Look at those foolish little idiots…If they're representing Konoha, then that village must have become weak and useless, _thought Kagami coldly. Her eyes narrowed. _They all must be a bunch of useless shinobi… once I become a powerful kunoichi, I'll kill them all. And when I do, the dumb blonde and the bubblegum head will be the first to go._

And so, the reputation of the Uchihas only got worse.

THE END

**Moral of the Story:**

If you're going to make a 'Sasuke's long lost sister' story (which I highly discourage you to do, since the idea has been overdone and is cliché and your story will probably result in a Mary-Sue fic with many flames…), then be realistic and original with it.

She's most likely to have an attitude either like Sasuke's or Itachi's. Since her family wasn't brutally murdered in front of her eyes, she's not going to end up like Sasuke after the Itachi incident. …Unless her life has been complete hell or she did deal with an adoptive relative's death. And if that's the case, she's going to be like emo-Sasuke, angry at everybody. She's not going to accept everyone like a living saint.

Itachi was a psychopath (in my opinion), so the Mary-Sue—err, OC, might end up like one too realistically.

And COME ON people, isn't a story about a psychopathic sister a lot more original and exciting then Every-Naruto-Guy-Wants-To-Sex-Me-Up Mary sues that are over-clichéd?

Answer: HELL YES.

And yes, considering she's an Uchiha she WILL be naturally beautiful, but really, if you're making her this poor orphan girl, she's not going to have silk kimonos and make-up. And if she did, she'd probably sell it SO SHE COULD SURVIVE. Be practical here. Unless the girl's an IDIOT, she's going to be thinking about food, not about how good she looks in designer high heels.

Also, if you're going to make those crappy 'Sasuke's sister gets with Naruto' stories, THINK AGAIN. If the gal is anything like Sasuke or Itachi, she would rather date a worm than Naruto.

And if you ARE going to pair her with Naruto, then wouldn't it make more sense just to write a Sasuke-Naruto or Itachi-Naruto fanfic? Because that's what you're telling me here, that her personality and Naruto's mixes. Save us the lame Mary-sue and just go for the yaoi fic, at least people will read it and not flame you.

And why does she HAVE to be with Naruto? Why not go for the unexpected and pair her with Shino or something? (And for some reason, I can see how that would work since Shino has this whole respect for Sasuke and the Uchihas by calling Sasuke _Uchiha-San_, and their personalities could match)

BE ORIGINAL PEOPLE. It's not an ORIGINAL CHARACTER (OC) if it's the same thing over and over again.

And why is the heroine always a rich daimyo or a poor girl who lives on the streets? Why can't she be a ninja? Unless you WANT her to be the damsel in distress.

I mean think about it:

An ordinary Iwagakure (rock) genin goes on a mission, when she unlocks the power of her sharingan. What awaits for her now?

…Okay, no. That's cliché too. BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.

And on top of that, she's not going to be this invincible never-drying bitch! She's NOT going to be stronger then Sakura or Naruto, who were trained by LEGENDS, so why are you making her so powerful?

BE ORIGINAL, or I can guarantee you; you will end up writing fanfiction your entire life.

(Waits to see how many Itachi's psychopathic-sister stories pop up)


End file.
